people come people go

it's so quiet suddenly....

looking back those pics...their activities in msia...
suddenly feel so worried...dunno what ll it be???
always hoping to go back
when time's coming, i start to get worried..
things that i used to do in msia, i cant continue anymore...i m too old for that, it is time to grow up...it is time to make some changes...
friends? i dun really have many back home....but we were quite close one time...
have been away for a few years...
looking at their changes...
friends that i used to hang around....ll be different...they have grown up...
everything ll be different...
starting to get used to here but i cant say so...people come people go...

how good would it be...if i never experienced any changes...
when u have only one goal, u ll go for it...with ur best...
when there are a lot of choices,u ll think it is worth to do so n so? ll u regret if this n that...

i really wish there aren't any big changes in my life....

心淡,心碎

有时真的觉得很心酸...

你把他们放在心上...在首先...
可是对他们而言...却不是这一回事...
有时真想到回以前,不与任何人熟悉,至少不会觉得失望,心寒...
你越在乎的,却是越伤你越深...

我越来越不能走出这种感觉....

因缘

if not cos of it...i wont have so much time...involving in those activities...having a bunch of brosss...

if not cos i was in SIT...there wont be a queen pig...piggies would have less a member...

(for so many pics we have, i still like this the best)

if not cos i m in adelaide....

if not cos of it...i wont get closer to them....


i wont get to know them....



i wont know so many good n nice uncles n anties...n shifus....

n some other new friendssss.....

it's lost or found? i have no idea...
it is all about fate

my feeling's starting to get complicated....
where's my fate would be? next yr?....

因为如此而有了这样的缘分

说无情既有情
说讨厌却又不舍

在准备考试的这一段日子里,
很多过去在我脑海里飞过...
在我第一年到这到现在
我在乎的人,失我的人...
有点懒得去想去理会了...

越来越想快点回家...

有点饱和了....快点考啦....

又再次崩溃了...并不是为了什么...只觉得很累很累....
时间越逼近,想回家的心情越强烈.
真想此刻回到的是自己的家,而不是冷清清没人的屋子

不知是为什么...
我越来越不想跟人打交道...
做什么都提不起劲,没兴趣,只觉得很无聊...
闷闷不乐...

我好像在周围建了道防护墙
不想让人步进也不想走出去

basically, i dun feel like socializing, not emo, just being lazy...
i used to like to make myself happier, better everyday but now...
i jus feel that everything can end soon..
i want to say bye bye to everything here, everyone as well....
i need a new start....
now only i know that i dun actually like here that much, start to hate it actually....

真的很没意义...

在Adelaide三年了...做过什么,为什么,忙什么,奋斗什么...只有三个字没意义
这可说是我人生中最没意思的三年...
又没干过什么特别有意义的事,又没特别的高兴,又没真的学习到什么(有,只感觉到负能量)...
简直是不三不四,浪费时间...

真想快点结束2010年

Sunday...at the temple again...
was quite surprise when i first saw some decoration in the 'library', then i recalled that today was 'elderly day'. they have it every 3 mths. jus to celebration birthday for elderly whose bday fall in those 3 mths...

as usual, i hided myself in the kitchen...
'fry the tofu for me.'
'cut that vege for me.'
'help me to wash the noodle.'
'help me to look for tomatoes.'
'help me to wrap presents.''
'bring that for me...'
everyone kept calling me!!! which one should i do first???!!! S.O.S...@@

not many ppl helping in the kitchen...ya, as usual i was the only youth there (not many ppl like to go in but just dunno y i feel more comfortable mixing with them). an untie kept coming in n asking me to go out to help her...but others not allow cos not enough ppl in the kitchen...lol...then she came in n called the '2 bday 'gals'' out for celebration...kena 'scolded' again......wakaka...

was damn busy...but i enjoyed...lots of jokes n laughs the whole day...ya of cos...because i'm 'belonged' to the kitchen, i get a chance to eat special food....wakkakkaka


hmm...not many ppl actually...but that is not the main thing...happy to see everyone smiling n some activities for elderly...


'gui ying jie'...wowowww....she is very good at singing...she was entertaining us for the whole morning...

'leong pak'...he had stroke during this CNY...n he is in the nursing home at the moment...since then we ll visit him every sun...chit-chatting with him...i m not going as often but others are...

'yuk yi'...the 'youngest' one in the kitchen...n the most energetic one, u can spot her in most of the pics...=P...this is her great-grand

'ho tai'...the 'boss' of the kitchen...she has a very bad temper...but she was in a very good mood today...i said i wasn't feeling well n she made cocacola with lemon for me...surprisingly...everyone was so surprised too...

all the 'sou seng gong' 'sou seng lui'...hee...

master...jus a random one...it was on shifu's seat when i first get in...ya, i went to shifu's hse again...heee

i think i truly got sick...i feel a bit 'hot'...cannot!!! more activities coming...
越来越不舍得...

power of blogging

i like to blog again...

feel so good every time after writing something here...
especially, when i was a bit down or 'messy'...

this time is not about my activity anymore...
more about myself...

feel like writing diary...

when i was in my high school, my school wanted us to write sth to our form teacher every week or at least every month...
it could be anything...it's liked a dairy or weekly dairy
i used to hate writing...cos i dunno what to write...
i ended up never writing anything in my last few years in high school...
now, i feel like letting my form teacher to 'mark'
if she saw my 'diary', think she ll refer me to the counselor, i would call them 'counselling teachers'...

where is my heart?

我的'心'不见了...
行尸走肉,我在干嘛...差不多三年了吧!!!

责任感不见了,
开朗的性格不见了,
以前,永远处于兴奋的状态,
从不计较,不想太多,只会往前冲,凡事用心去干的陈诗瑜去了哪?

现在,永远处于低沉状态,太平静了...
难道我成熟了?终于长大了?可是这为免太慢了点吧...

我还是比较喜欢以前傻大姐的我...是不是都傻笑一场...
该'心'抓回来了...

用心干!
smile...

其实还蛮不舍得在如是,在竹林建立起的友情网络...

down to Murray Bridge

yesterday i went to Murray Bridge for an intern interview...i took a bus from the city and changed another bus in Mt Baker. i was quite relaxing on the bus this time...i felt much more 'freerer' compared to my previous 2 trips (Mt Gambier n Victor Harbour). felt like i m having a vacation...i quite like the place actually...dunno is cos of my mood or what...i felt everything was so good yesterday...

一样是一个人不同的是心境
was alone too but the feeling is very different

i have taken some random pics...

Mt Baker bus station, this is where i changed my bus. it is the end of the metro bus service.

the view when i was on my way back

but no matter how....decision has been made or i should say i have never changed my mind actually...

hmm...feel like having a trip here...houseboating sound interesting...

梦醒...改变...

梦醒三步曲:

• 凡事别想太多,别猜疑
• 只收藏开心事,往好处想
• 忘掉过去,向前看,明天会更好.保持开朗的心情.

老实说一天没改变环境,是很难从新开始的...不过我会加油的!!!
陈诗瑜,你一定要开心!!!
smile =)

i wish my blog will be happier...i need a new adventure!

jia you!

人常常最容易的就是忽略了'身边'的人



....
算了吧!

回首三年

留澳的三年...我做过什么? ...我只不过是过了个没意义,没目标,没乐趣的三年...
留澳的三年里,它磨掉了我的乐观,磨去了我的欢乐,抹杀了我的人生,不知所谓的三年...
澳洲拿走了我许多的眼泪...为些不入流的人掉泪,烦恼...真讽刺!!!

够了!!!我受够了!!!
真想尽早离开这里...
这里只给了我悲观的人生...我只存有在这里的负面档案...
学会了憎恨,不满,比较,埋怨...

我开始不知高兴的感觉,不知如何笑,不知如何与人沟通...有点封闭自己的倾向...
明明不想笑还是要对着人强颜欢笑,明明不想讲话还是要对着人开玩笑...
陈诗瑜,你几时变得这么虚伪,你的大邋邋的性格去了哪?!!!爽快的个性去了哪?
由心而笑的笑声去了哪?喜欢带给大家欢乐的陈诗瑜去了哪?
什么是快乐????
开始有点讨厌自己...

veron, i think u r the only one who notices my changesss...thanks for ur reminder...
jo, u r the one who brings a true happiness to me...thank you very much...somehow i lik to be with u due to ur cheerfulness and positiveness...

是时候醒了...

WTFUCK....

'wah, the mirror is so big! Wah, the table is so big!!!! Wah!! wah!!wah!!!' people would say that when first seen my room.

'Wah the Fuck!!! wah the Fcuk!!!' but, this is what i think!! it would be nice if thing is practical...but this...WTF!!! the mirror so big for what?!!! can only see half the body...r u a ghost?!! only has half body?!! or u just flying one...oh yea~~~if that u definitely won't scratch the floor...the table so big for what?!!! cos of it, i can't push my bed all the to the wall...would u like it if u kick something while u r sleeping?!!! i have tolerated myself for all this...but what the FUCK....others would just say 'y can't u be consideration for others? y can't u just (this)...(that)....' does anyone consider my feeling?

ya the house is nice but sorry i dun appreciate it...cos of such a landlord...i would rather have the small cosy UV especially when ur privacy is not being interupted...inspect! inspect! inspect! then nagging! nagging! nagging!...i dun enjoy staying here at all!!!!paying such a rate with such house n location ya...it worth!!!! oh well....ya, cheaper than UV, bigger than UV, nicer than UV.....but i dun enjoy...what is this for?!!! Last year in Australia?!!! bad bad lousy FUCK suck impression for me....SUCK Susanne FUCK Susanne just won't let me to have a peaceful time...since the first time i talked to her....i dun like her....maybe she thought that way to me as well....but i dun care!!!! u thought u r the landlord, then can just walked into others house like that?!!! u thought u urself is the landlord can just disturb others to the max with a sms like that?!!! Renovate woooo....'i just want to please everyone so...' if u r out my sign then i would be happy....looking at u, i dunno how to smile...sorry i can't smie at people i dun like n when i m not happy....not like u...fake people....(these r people who can win in this real life....i would be a looser...i know...)

AUSTRALIA!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

This year is such a SUCK SUCK year....especially when my life has first tied up with her....staying in her apartment is the start of my nightmare....i can't deny that my personality has changed a lot in this year....

i dunno since when i start to be hatred...never have such thing before in Msia....

parcel from malaysia

that day, i've jus collected a parcel from the post office...

it is a parcel from my brother. he kept asking whether i had have it for the past few days..kept complaining why i never reply him...hey...i just got the notice to collect on friday evening, how was i about to get it? scolding him from the phone...'y dun u just open a post office here? then i can collect it anytime...'

hmm...i never ask anything from him n my birthday has past for agesss....n i already got a card from him which exactly the same from last time...=.=" anyway, it's a small box n i saw 'key chain' written there...har?!!! giv me a key for what?!!! i opened it in a food-court n i saw 'OLAY-Total effects'...har?!!! facial product????


ya, it is jus a box to protect it...there 2 key chains. hamburger with a mirror n a donut...do u know that it ll make me think of food if i look at it?!!! why food?!!!!



it does smell like a hamburger actually but it doesn't smell as strong as the 'buns' that i saw last year...luckily...heee....

at first, it didn't seem to mean anything to me...
'sharon n i found these cute so send to u.' this's the msg i got from him...
feel so good n sweet when there is somebody who would think of u even u r so far away...
who ll still think of u when time passing n everyone all around other places???

since i have been here, i get to exposed to a lot of things...

sports, especially, rushi youth group has brought me to a lot of sports which i have never get to play before in msia. the first time i get involved was the Mini Sport Game last year. I've played volleyball, badminton, fooser and basketball....other than that, i get to play tennis and table tennis...this year i had a chance to have performance on the stage...a lot of memories...knowing lots of friends...

freedom...is the most thing i have here...go out anytime i like...n get back anytime...hanging around with friends...or maybe in friends' house...chitchatting, has trips...happy?

i m confused at the moment. is this a life? days without family...is that what i want?

no matter how i m, i still feel something missing in my life...sth i m not understood. y they can just leave their family, their parents?

do i still have wings? can i keep flying? can guama 'be kept' longer? is it worth for me to invest another year of my life?

i think i m too heavy...

holiday!!!! finally i have a break!!!!

dun feel lik doin anything...starting to mold at home....
watching hong kong drama the whole morning...relaxing....
but...jus dunno y....i m very worried suddenly, feel weird suddenly....

a feeling that cannot be described by words...

seem to have lots of frens....but...no one that i can talk to...

sarcastic!

friendship??? what's that???
u treat others as frens...care about...giving support....
but to them....u r jus a clown...

hey....it is time to make a summary to my life again...busy busy....i m always busy...
busy for this and that...in the end, i have no idea what m i doin....



tired...tired...tired...

maybe i m tired cos of the placement?
maybe i m tired cos of my future?
maybe i m tired cos of keep thinking, picturing...

i just feel very tired....

smiling on my face becomes lesser
happiness in my heart becomes lesser...

maybe i m just so stingy...
stingy to smile
stingy to laugh
stingy to talk
stingy to feel...

very tired...

missing home very much...starting getting used to the life here...tiring to get start again...where should i go? what should i do? where is my comfy zone? where m i belonging to?

hate to choose
hate to think

can anyone just pick for me?

to u, maybe i seem very decisive...
BUT i m not....

my big day in 2010

hey, i m here to my blog again...i m not updating my blog as often as i did last year...however, this is another thing that i wish to share long time ago...

it is about my birthday celebration...
my dearest housemate know that i prefer to have home-based thingy...so...she decided to have it at home...this joker even asked me to go out n get food on my own n choose the cake that i like...so that they won't get sth that i dun like...oh yeah!!! such a caring housemate....

hmmm....y caryn was hiding behind me? ya..u r tall but not tall enough...ok?!

dunno what's wrong with us...i just feel lik hugging u guys....

group photo

no fancy celebration, no gorgeous decoration, no fantastic activity...we just gather n eat...to be honest, i m not very close to them but i feel comfortable n warm...

feel so lucky that to have u guys around...

我真的觉得很迷惘
开始不知自己在干嘛。。。

谁可以为我指路？

一个人旅行

不知哪来的勇气, 我买了张车票独自一人到victor harbor 找前室友去了
谢谢poh n hooisoo来送车
谢谢你的波罗包 n bubble tea...谢谢你, 我有点急了...
不是我喜欢热闹, 喜欢忙碌...只因宁静会让我想很多
此时此刻到了一个人的时刻...我...还是想起了他...

今年, 我接触到了很多人, 认识许多朋友, 可是没想到你还存在
我真的很不明白, 我可以得到无数人的关心, 无数的问候...为何你偏偏缺席在名单之中
鼓起勇气尝试再与你联络, 你没回应
难道我们已经成了陌生人吗?

你的影子, 与你的片段一直出现在我脑海里
我真的很想问一句:'你过得如何? 好不好?'

我曾告诉过自己许多次...该放手了
可是我没做到, 拖止今天...值得吗?
你的扭扭捏捏, 爱理不理, 时冷时热, 真的让我很难受...

两年半了...我还值得继续等下去吗?
本以为干了, 没想到此刻的我, 还再因你而掉泪
我还值得因你而继续等下去吗?
我真的很累了...很想很想立刻回家, 永远离开这块土地, 这个带给我许多复杂故事的地方
我已经快要崩溃了...

today, my preceptor assessed my work. it was the first. he asked me lots of questions...i dunno how to ans...even a very simple question...what is the 1st line treatment for type-1 diabetes...can u imagine i was struggling on this kind of question? basically i have forgotten everything, ya it is everything...

'how can this kind of student get to 4th yr? what uniSA doing now...' though he din say out but i know what his thought when talking to me...

he assessed me a lot a lot...
'you should know everything on top of ur head. u should be able to answer in a few second...'
feeling myself so useless n stupid....

so frustrated...ya...y m i here?
at this point i still asking myself this question...pharmacy is not what u think it was...
i m still very confused...

to be honest...i have no 'heart' at all...just do what i have to do...but my 'heart' has gone long time ago...

BALANCE...what is the balance?!

shark fishing

once upon a time, three girls caught a shark. they were so surprised as the shark was very big...

"hmm...what should we do with it?
shark fin soup? shark fillet?"


after discussing, they decided to sell it in a free market....

wakakakka.......

birthday card

To my wonderful sister,

sometimes,
it takes years
to understand
what having a sister
is all about.
when we were younger,
you were "just my sister."
But now,
I truly appreciate
the special person
you are...

haha...getting the same birthday card from from brother this year. was so surprised when seeing it thought he stole it and sent it back to me again....

he said this is the best card for me...that's why dunno why getting the same card without knowing it

=)

messages to my dearest frensss

lots thing to talk to my frens...missing them so much~~~

to jo,
hope u start to enjoy ur life there...miss the time with u u...1006 a place where we used to sleep together...wakkaka...passing by semophore that day, thinking of u...kite flying, the proposal, cant forget the unique big TV screen there...heading to state library to borrow some DVDs...thanks for passing me some of the new movies...i miss the time watching movies n eating crackers with u...

thanks for leading me to a happy life....

to veron,
fatty, a name given by jo for u...ya, the skinniest one called fatty...muahahah...u r so sweet...so energetic maybe...gullible, a word that i have learnt from u...glad that u truly enjoy in the 'Spring'...
(now only i realise, i dun have many pics with u...sigh...)

to sakai,
haha...u so sakai....cant forget that u always taking ur camera with u...

thanks for ur caring....

to siying,
hardly talk to u...u always busy...but i know even though we can't get to see or talk to each other...our hearts still together....sound so...lesbian....wakakakak...u know what i mean....

to soxi,
same here...how r u going now?

remember? Taurus forever...(lost the pic leh...who got keep it?)

can somebody please tell me what should i do?

insomia

i couldn't sleep!

not cos of the tiramisu (thanks for hooisoo giving me so much coffee for that cake) that i have eaten just now. nth to do with it...we were having an old topic again, talking about future, the year after 2010, the life in Adelaide versus Malaysia. talking with friend about the future career after that, making me more worried and lost...

symptoms exacerbated by the career management skills lecture. was damn stress when Nina Tabor talking about it in the class...

haihzz...
thought i would have made up my mind after AP400 but still cant make up my mind...do I able to get the job where i want to? will i get a good pharmacist(s) to work with? is it worth to do so? worth if i want to go back? if i stay on, how about my family? same questions keep coming to my mind on n off...

my brother is going to marry in Feb next year. when i heard the date they have set, i dun really feel that happy like my friends who heard their sis or bro marriage. i start to worry, very uncertain. ya, i know things won't have changed a lot cos she's actually staying with us. 'koko wanna marry.' the only thing in my mind...think i have been in a 'stage' for too long, it's time for me to proceed to another stage...'wah, koko has grown up! me?!' can't accept that maybe...

it is quite hot but i feel cold...

ya...i m blogging at 3.50am.

ya...just get back....
ya...me? so busy again...keep going out...

before exam, was busying, then busy studying for final, after exam keeps going out again...a lot of things i have left out...my friends, especially my housemate, not spending much time at home, letting her doing all the housework n cook for me...feel so bad...

Alzheimer

mental health....whenever comes to this topic, i sure think of her...

lots questions in my mind...
'Why?'
'should or shouldn't'

dreaming of her that she had get better, normal which is impossible

not spending enough time with her, can't accept the reality still....

jus having a little sport after tests

volleyball, not very good at it but i like to play

volleyball gang....lots new membersss this year......


2nd day, early in the morning, we went for hiking. It is Morialta Park. there are 2 pathways: early and hard. We took the hard one. yeah~ i made it...


this is the steepest road...so scary n so hard to walk...going up? not a very big problem but we gotta come down from the same path...a bit worried to my knees at actually cos have injured before...piew....coming down safely....


hiking matesss......

wanted to study....taking out the notes, sitting in front of the laptop, staring at the laptop, dunno what am i doing....

feel so tired...not because of just finishing the MM test...

i really feel tired...wanted to go back...


not leaving any msg in the facebook cos there are too many ppl....

not much in msn anymore cos relatives n brother r there too...

here is the only place...not many ppl know...nobody viewing it even...

why aren't u online?

mum n dad's story

after dinner with jo, poh n carynn, we went for coffee. oh...ya! jo's back...heeee.....she comes for a seminar. she craved for coffee after dinner...she found a coffee maker but no coffee at home...too bad..so we went out...me?! of course not having coffee...it's iced choc...hahahaa....

we talked about our funny, interesting parents. after talking with them, i decided to tell the interesting story of them...i dun mean to make fun on them, just feel like keeping their story...


day 1,
stubborn father reluctant to rest, ended up sick and trapped in the apartment the rest the day...
mum n i went to sushi train for dinner without dad...she kept complaining about him...

day 2,
their journey started. 1st station, bunnings and ikea...haaa....bunnings, a place that dad has to go in Aus. when we 1st get in sydney, uncle james said there was sth spoiled then my dad said go to bunnings to get sth. my cousins were shocked when hearing 'bunnings'...without resting, he straight to bunnings...his holiday is doing more work...

they found their own way there by bus. learning to buy ticket, read the board at the bus stop, getting down, playing the 2h trip with the bus ticket from the bus from a random indian man. was quite worried and felt bad cos cannot bring them along. but they wanted one. i have told them not to come, nth much in adelaide, but they still wanted to come..oh well....buying sth back...

day 3,
went back to the same place to return sth. dad said he has only explore 40% of bunnings. spending the remaining time in the food court of ikea. ordering a cup of soft drink, refilling for like 8 times...worth the price he paid...china man...

mum had a chat with a local taking about his life working in china as a lecturer, earning a lot but could only be a cleaner in the airport in Adelaide....hmmm....is she hinting sth? a random fellow walked to my mum n asked a weird question :"are u from china?" then walked away...mum was pointing n shouting at him asking the same ques....y she did so? cos she said since he asked her 1st then she just asked him back...=.=" ya this is my mum....

day4,
marion. they went there on their own with the bus timetable. mum was randomly grabbing anyone on the bus and chat...asking a student from china to work hard...

day 5,
tea tree plaza. i tot they din get to there. but my dad was so smart, he grabbed the timetable that i left on the table and found their own way there...luckily, they have seen the orban...surprisingly, the same shop in marion and tea tree plaza selling the same thing but at a very different price.

y asking them to all those places? shouldn't shopping centre in msia better? shouldn't i ask them to harbour town or handorf? believe me, they don't like those. they are more interesting in new and different thing, high tech stuff...they bought a lot...think they bought about 40kg of hardware n gardening stuff things. trying their best to feed all those things with few bags....

all the while, mum kept complaining about dad when they get back from their adventure.
'he in menopause lo, so shy, dun dare to ask ppl, scared to buy ticket on his own...etc....'
mum too actually, acting so crazily...=.="


a typical post of them...standing still

check on the carry bag of my dad....that is the bag they use for shopping, to bring back a lot of stuff. they like it very much...no matter what dad wanna bring it along. just dunno y, he looked like a china man, tong san lou....a typical china man...hhaaaa....


doesn't my grandma looked like a little girl?

finally having time n mood to do such thing...

looking through everything...
pasting it one by one...
bringing lots of memoriesss.....

can anyone still remember them???
pictures, notes, messages from u guys...

thank you very much

m doing so badly.....

it is getting worse...
one time worse than one time....
this time is lagi cangih...i hit the critical error...

so lost...sad...dunno what should it do....

dun mean to wrote anything about my studies one...
it is so dull and boring
but can't help, this is the only where i can talk....




PP...
fang pi (means farting)

studying dementia and delirium making me thinking of my grandma...

calling back...
mum said she is getting tanner cos she likes to walk. she can walk damn long. now they are not allow her to walk out anymore...being locked...feeling so sad. because of her, the whole center has to be locked, it was opened freely before she is there...mum also said she is become more anti-social. refusing to talk to anyone in the center...

ya...she has changed the center...this isn't an alzheimer center. It is just a normal old age center. Everyone there is normal...mum said she seems to prefer here...but i m worried if she keeps being so aggressive and stubborn, she might not be allowed to stay there anymore. HOW?

my phone's memory is full again...have to delete some messagesss....

going through a lot messages, seeing those names, bringing back some of the memoriesss.....
memories of me n friends...the reason of us sms-ing...

missing them...everyone...those daysss....

y everyone likes to look back? recalling?

a quiet n silent night

A quiet and silent night which i always wish to have since i m in Adelaide...

it is...so comfortable...so enjoying....this night...no one at home...no noise...
These 2 nights are the only time that i can get to do anything i feel like...feel so free....

not that I dun like or dun one others to come over...but can u imagine different ppl come to ur house every night? it is just so busy for every night...can u stay with it for long term?
feeling so bad...
actually i do welcome them but just the timing....

it is time to catch up...

ya, i m back to Adelaide...it is the same place, same uni...but it seems so different to me...faces are not the same anymore...they have left...ya they are done but i m not...

i have moved to a new apartment...ya i m moving again...cos Jo has left...It is Princes Apartment this time.

finally, i m settled down. It was so busy...non-stop of ppl coming my house...at first was hooisoo, then my parents then uncountable number of ppl...my house has always been so noisy...maybe it would be better if there is a door...anyway, i have chosen it on my own...no complaint. don't really have enough rest...

everything has moved out from my house. it is so empty now...feel so sad...


the balcony, it so clean now after a few time of flushing and brushing...

the living room, the shark is still here...i cant believe it...=.="

the kitchen...

last it is my room. after a few times of shifting and organising, this is it. 'the door' at right...and my bed is stick to the wall (hopefully it would be like tat all the while...heee)

my housemate, maria caryn, enjoying her fruit on her own...wahahha

this is my new look. i have cut my hair short. it is damn short. it has undergone 2 stages of changing actually. at first, it was at my shoulder length. ya like those mushroom hair...cant really take it need to blow the hair straight everyday after shower. then i went to cut again before i coming back here...it's like auntie when i first cut, it is better after i have pin it...

why was i cutting my hair? it is just a miscommunication among mum n i and miscommunication among the auntie, who cut my hair n mum and miscommunication among the auntie and me...

now only i realise short hair is the fashion for this year.=P

不知曾几何时我开始学会了比较,总决得别人很幸运很好命...
不知曾几何时我开始学会了嫉妒,不满自己的现状...

不知曾几何时我开始厌倦了...

为何总有贵人在他人身边...

how can i work with my this tiring body?

since the 1st day i m here, i dun really have enough rest
at 1st, i thought i can settle everything since i was here earlier...
but lots things happening...

i know i have lots things to do
i know i have not much time...
but lots things blocking me from doing so....
pissing off sometimes...

from the 1st day till now, i m just feeling tired
no other than tat...

no time n energy to study...

pls stop talking to me...i just want to be myself....
tired, moody, dun feel lik talking....

i miss them....

first day of uni...










hmm...
noth much about it

not happy, not excited...
...............
..................
.................

going back sooooonnnnnn.................

when i was in Adelaide, i din really feel like coming back. when i m in malaysia, i dun feel like going back there...

i was in adelaide, not that i din like msia, din miss them: family n frens. i missed everything back home! but at the same time, i was a bit unwilling to go back cos i was going to miss frens and things there...

when i m back in malaysia, i wanna stay on. dun feel like going back to study...till now i still regret that i din take the action 3 years ago...if i did that, i would it be? i couldn't imagine it but at least i wouldn't have this complicated feeling.

y so complicated? my feeling?
having the mixing of happy n unhappy...
at this moment, i m more sad...